It's been far to long since we've had a "fuck you Friday" post,so here it is proudly brought to you a massive dose of PMS & a growing dislike of wanky hipsters...
The story starts on a very wet Saturday morning as I'm on my way to the local Ag show to help out.Cruising on the highway doing the speed limit,I am suddenly overtaken on a blind hill by an ageing loser in a shitbox old celica,dangerous? Yes! Unnessary? Yes! Frustrating? Why yes! Alas there was nothing I could do or say to that selfish driver that he could hear but I did not let that stop me...as you can imagine!
I approach our bustling main shopping drag (that is on the hwy as well) & see a youngish hipster dude,with a very shiny,healthy looking bob haircut alighting from his car that he has just parked...HALF HANGING OUT ON THE HWY....that is when my brain snapped!
I stopped my car beeped my horn & when he looked at me I made the international hand signs at him for WTF?
He flicked his mane of lucious hair & continued on his way,I shot him eye bullets & proceeded on my errands,into the supermarket I stroll & there he is across the fruit & veg bunk gathering his produce,it was like slow motion,I had no control of myself as I yelled at him "your pathetic!" I knew better than to hang around & headed to the sugar isle to get my goodies.
It was as I was on my knees trying to wrestle two three kilo sugar bags from the bottom shelf when a pair of environmentally friendly slip ons stopped in front of me & a decidedly not so macho voice said to me "do you have a problem with me?"
Uh oh...brain snap number two,lifted me to my feet faster than I have ever travelled before & I word vomited all over his lovely button up hemp shirt!
"I do not have a problem with you but I do have a problem with how you parked your car on the hwy,why would you do that? Why make it harder for other people to drive,it's just selfish" I practically hissed at him,his reply was "I only needed lemons(like I give a fuck!) & if you hit my car,that's your fault!" I then word vomited again with things like "if you can't park in the lines move to the next spot & try again & perhaps you should pop your L plates on so we are aware your just learning,selfish,it's just selfish" I then turned my heel & flounced off the the checkout,where I was pleased to see him eyes to the floor waiting behind me in the line,I made sure to be extra nice to the lass serving me,just to make sure those rumors of my Jekyll & Hyde personality have some basis on truth,got to the show & headed straight to the beer tent...
Have you had a public brain snap lately? Care to share? Of course you do...j9 ;)
Please excuse spelling & structure I'm writing this at school pick up,on my phone :)
It looked kinda like this! Image care of google...
It's been a while so here's a quick squiz at what google has blown my mind with lately...
WTF...this made me laugh too much!
What you gunna do with all that junk?
Public displays of affection have that effect on some people!
It's all in the camera angle!
Jumpsuits the camel toes best friend...
And last but not least,just when you thought a moose knuckle was as bad as it got,I present you with...
Well that was fun,thanks for popping in & I'll see you soon! J9 :)
Sorry it's been so long between posts but as you know I am inconsistent if nothing else!
Now today I want to discuss mums & school,well more to the point those mums you walk past everyday during drop off & pick up,that never ever acknowledge you exist,the ones that just look straight through you as if by some miracle you actually got your secret super power wish to be invisible!
Now don't get me wrong I have no desire to befriend these women but I do think that in a small community at a lovely school,a "Hi,how are you?" is not such a hard thing to push out of your pie hole,especially for setting a great example for your kids on being friendly! Even a tight smile would suffice but NO not these ladies they have perfected the "stare off into the distance look with their shield of steel body language" as they walk past day in day out...
Well I'm making it my mission this year to say hello to these ladies everytime I see them,until such times they cannot stand it any longer & either change schools or say Hi back!
Although there is one mum I am avoiding after she yelled at me while I was putting petrol in my car that I had "taken her spot" I smiled,waved & told her "I would be really quick"(which I was because to be honest she was quite scary) so her & the talk,talk,talk mums are off the list!
Have you encountered any strange mums in the playground?
Just to update everyone I now have one child in uni,one in senior high school,two in infants & one little munchkin still home!
Let me know what your experiences of playground mums is like...
P.s I have noticed a lot of these women drive Prado's,coincidence or not?
The latest from "we're all madd here" to start school...
We are naturally an awkward family,not that you could tell,right?
Awkward marriage moment this week,was when I asked Mr Fixit if he could grab me a singlet top at Kmart when he was popping in,easy enough right? Even gave him my size...
Sure enough being the good man he is,he bought me home a top that he picked,awkward moment...it was a size 18!
Way to make the wifey feel like a sexy bitch honey!
Got an awkward marriage moment you wanna share? Go on I dare you...;)
A quick note to wish everyone a very merry,safe Christmas.
May all your wishes come true,if not we'll see you back her next year...:)
Sincerely though, thank you for all taking the time to read my ramblings, I really appreciate it & hope to entertain & engage us all well into the future!
Hit me up with what you'd like to hear me crap on about!
Big love j9 & "were all madd here" xx
I've been waiting for this post to be ready to come to life,it's been a few months of gut wrenching heartache,loneliness,insomnia,isolation,it's been really really hard...it still is.
Mr 16 decided a few months ago that he wanted to live with his dad full-time.Now don't get me wrong from the moment his father & I decided when he was 4 to go our seperate ways,this was something I knew would happen at some point. Then it happened...& it floored me.
I cannot properly articulate the ways in which this has made me feel,the sadness it sweeps in like a fog & envelopes me,the powerlessness,this was his choice to make,he is 16 I must respect him & his decisions,the loneliness,I know I am not the only parent to go through this but I sure feel like it,the shame,I feel like I failed him,why else would he want to leave,the selfishness,this is not about me it's about him & what's best for him.
A few months in he seems to be going really well.I don't see a lot of him but I text him regularly (16yr old boys don't seem to phone chat like girls do)
I tread lightly with him,I don't want to push him further away by being all crazy needy but I always let him know I miss him.
When I do see him I hold my tears untill he leaves,he doesn't need me guilt trippin him.
I miss his jokes & his cooking,I am also starting to realise he was the only one in the house that really listened to anything I said...
His little sister misses him a lot & that breaks me everytime,it's like he died but he didn't because we see him & it's heart shattering all over again...
I don't know if & when it will get better,will it ever?
I do know the lessons that are to be learned from this are long,hard,very painful & bloody heart breaking....
Anyone got any words of wisdom? I sure could use some...j9
So we went to the beach again this morning,the same beach as yesterday,slightly further up & this happened...
So if you saw yesterday's video,it may just confirm that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree or something,something...
Love my guys big...j9
Welcome to our second installment of wereallmaddhere.com/tv.
Sorry about the crap sound quality but it was blowing a gale,not so good for filming but great exfoliation for ones legs...;)
Hehehe...just slightly short of the water babe!
Could not have planned that if I tried! J9 ;)
Why hello there!
Today's ramble is one I have been thinking a lot about lately,it involves my children & sometimes my husband & the fact that the better I get to know them all,the more I realise I think I have created idiots...if life were really survival of the fittest they wouldn't last 5mins!
I love them all dearly or something,something & have had a great laugh remembering all the stupid things they have done that made this list below,so with no further ado I present to you a list of some of the crazy things my family have done...
-miss A has no idea of just how dangerous electricity can be I realised as I watched her about to put a knife into a plugged in toaster...(this was fairly recently)
-mr B once thought it would be a tasty treat to eat the moisture absorbing beads he received with some other present
-mr M was banned from riding his moto bike after repeatedly using the car to stop instead of the brakes
-miss N doesn't bother to unwrap the lollies before she eats them,down the hatch plastic wrapping & all
-Mr Fixit recently tried to kill us all by nearly feeding us green potato mash,dude green potatoes are poisonous!
-miss A honey,your breakfast cereal does not go in your nose,that thing was wedged in there good I tells ya!
-I can't remember who it was that drank a whole glass of straight cordial but really folks how do you not realise that shits not been watered down...
-mr S what is it with him & plastic bags on his head? A fetish perhaps? Geez!
-mr B recently wrapped his head in sticky tape,like dude you didn't think that through did ya? Ouch!
-miss N why would you deliberately poke yourself in the eye? Why?
-miss A babe please don't force your head through the veranda railing bars,it's very, very hard to get it back out again & the oil we had to use to lube your ears up was a bitch to get out of your hair...
-miss N if mummy says its hot,please don't touch it to check,yes it is hot & people burn!
-miss N again! Please don't headbutt things to see just how hard they are,the table is very hard darling just ask!
-all the small kids have a thing for the cats butt,do not touch the cats ring hole,he does not like it & there's no soap in the world that's gunna make me eat anything that your manky little hands have touched ever again!
-miss N has a thing for using her undies as a pocket,you do NOT want to know what I have found in there!
That's the list for today but I sure there will be plenty to add as the kids keep growing!
Tell me what things have your family or friends done that makes you think WTF?
Hey people's,sorry it's been so long between posts but you know me,I'm nothing if not inconsistent...so anyway,today I thought I would show you a video we made.If your at all familiar with Bam my 6yr old you will be well aware that he is YouTube obsessed,so this is his first episode of we're all madd here TV...He is so going to be a presenter of some type maybe?
Is anyone in your household obsessed with anything?
Don't forget we're all madd here,as if the video didn't remind you...;)