Being a part of the were all madd here crew makes gaging what is considered normal & what we consider normal a very blurry line indeed.I'm talking both big & small stuff lets explore a few case scenarios shall we:
* we are a blended family by definition but we are not,what we are is a family fullstop I hate the whole labelling thing.I get that it can be a little hard for people to grasp the whole but she's 10 years older than him with 2 kids from a previous relationship & now they are married with 3 more kids with weird names.10 years down the track this is a non issue for us,we are just a family doing our family thing with all the highs & lows associated, thats totally normal is'nt it?
*my 3 youngest kids have unusual names,Bam,Spy & Nyx now people get a grip here, unusual names are not a new thing because really unless you have a biblical name at one stage in the timeline your name would have been considered unusual,I have always said if my children have issues with their names as they get older they can change it to whatever they wish, no biggie.Unfortunately people cannot help but express themselves in regard to what you call your children, as if it has anything to do with them anyways? Hey reality check,people used to call their kids Fanny & Dick back in the day. I'm just glad I wasn't named after my genitalia if you know what I mean?
*My younger 2 boys have lovely blond curly hair,that I don't cut much hence it's long,well fuck me dead if this isn't an issue for a lot of people,especially a lot of middle aged people who lived through the 60's (fucking flower power people) & more than likely had very long hair that their parents hated (did the drugs fuck your memories that much?). The really old people who say things like "what lovely girls you have" don't bother me at all they probably have eyesight issues & can't see very well anyways, it's people that have grown up without the expectation of a short back & sides that really piss me off...example: I have a relative that just about every time we see them, has to make the comment "I can't wait to see the boys with their first proper big boy hair cuts", why?, will it make difference to their spirit,personality? I do the old smile & say nothing all the while thinking to myself "fuck off,It's comments like yours that make hope they never want to cut their hair & one day wrap their lovely locks around your throat & choke you with it" (anger issues much?).
The worst thing is Bam got off the bus last week walked in & said to me "mum, I have to get my hair cut" when I asked him why he replied with "the kids on the bus told me i should have a hair cut" to say I was upset & angry& sad & all that are an understatement,it's 2012 peeps,have we learn't nothing about individuality in the last 50 years including teaching your children that not everybody looks the same & thats O.K too? I let him know that if that was what he really wanted,no problem he could cut his hair but I also gently reminded him that lots of boys have or have had long hair including his daddy & his poppy & that he did not have to fit into anyones idea of what he should look like,that if he was happy with how he looked that was all that mattered.Seems peer group pressure starts very early indeed but I am happy to report he still has his gorgeous locks,it takes strength to be who you are even at 6!
*A similar issue we are confronting is with the way the kids choose to dress,now my mr Spy guy is an individual dresser through & through. His favourite colour is orange & around the house his favourite thing to wear is simply underpants,nothing more nothing less. This makes for interesting trips to the bus stop to wave Bam off of a morning (the bus stop is across the road). I'm sure it must be quite a sight to see this little man child with a semi afro of with blond curls,standing out the front of the house in his undies (sometimes with a little something stashed down the front,giving him a hefty "package") with not a care in the world for what anyone else would think of him,waving his big brother off,but this morning I noticed some of the kids on the bus pointing & laughing. He didn't notice but my heart broke a little for him know that, soon enough he may have to tone down his individual flair,just so as to appease other children his age & not become a target for their cruelty. I don't want him to feel like he has to change or tone down his personality to be accepted or liked,that being who he is,is all that matters.I'm not saying I think he should be allowed to wear his undies everywhere we go,just that i worry for the innocence he will lose as his awareness of other people & their reactions increases.
I suppose what I'm really worrying & wondering about "is there a certain moulding & tweeking of our personalities that we just have to do,to be members of society?" Is it possible to be accepted by a wider community or should feeling ridiculed & different be par for the course if you choose to be a "little out there"?, "Are any of us really as tolerant as we like to think we are?" & lastly "whats normal anyway?".....
As for my use of profanity.I'm pretty sure it's very above normal but sometimes it feels so good to verbalise that, geez i wanna punch someone in the face feeling,loudly & dramatically! or is that just me?......
Don't forget we're all madd here :)