Picture
Hey people's,I don't really know how todays post is going to turn out so bear with me & lets find out shall we?
I find myself in the unique position of having been both a young mum & an older mum & the one thing I know for sure is that I am parenting much differently the second time around compared to the first time. I don't mean my core parenting ideals have changed all that much,I have raised them all with lots of love & kisses & cuddles & awesome dress sense but as I have grown older I have changed & thus so has my parenting.
I was almost 23 when I had my darling missA17,she was fully planned & I thought I was ready to take motherhood on & I was, apart from the fact missA17 refused to sleep anywhere but on me for the first 6 months of her life but thats a whole other post. It was terrible,difficult,taxing but  IT WAS ALSO THE MOST MAGICAL TIME OF MY LIFE I really & truly fell in love for the first time ever & felt so bloody powerful it was crazy! Mrm16 followed her about 17 months later,now we lived in western Sydney back then & I didn't drive so we bussed & trained it wherever we needed to go,looking back it sucked arse but I knew no other way & being the youngster I was,I just did it because I was so worried about what other people may or may not think of me that I tried extra hard to be the best I could be & I expected that of my children as well.They were always clean, dressed perfectly,well behaved (or look out),quite,tidy jesus just reading this makes me sad for them, poor little robots...
Then when I was 29 my relationship with their father broke down & I found myself....
I became the person that made me happy,I relaxed,I stopped worrying what people thought because I finally realised that regardless of how hard I tried to be what other people wanted,I was just me,I was always going to be this slightly crazy, not quite textbook mother that loved her kids fiercely,infinitely & without expectation. I realised that all people are different,thus what they consider to be acceptable different,that I just needed to follow my gut instincts & use a sensible head & all will be o.k!
Just quietly,it is just as well I learned those lessons before I went on to have the last 3 amigo's because if I had not,I would now be a ward of some crappy psych ward in shitsville because there is no way I could have lived up to my own standards & still had a happy bone in my body.
 I still have standards & rules we live by, but the boring day to day stuff I'm pretty flexible with you know so they may not have a bath everyday & you know what, I wash their hair even less! wearing your p.j's all day is fine & as for housework well fuck that shit I do what I have too nothing more nothing less (well sometimes less,actually a lot of times less) I just don't care that much,I will have a lovely clean sterile home when they all leave(god, I hope they don't leave...) if you come to visit me & you have time to judge me in your head,make yourself useful instead grab a fuckin cloth & start wiping judge judy!
I also do not feel that I have to make sure that we have activities planned for every minute of everyday,sure we do stuff & I do think sport is important for all kids but these super mums, who when you are silly enough to ask what happening,give you the 5min non-stop run down of their kids after school activities bore & shit me at the same time,hey love. get your own life,give your kids some breathing space & relax nobody cares if your child is doing 6 sports,3 instruments & drama classes as well! (you will most often find those women don't use the internet for anything other than e-mail either! poor bitches...)
Don't get me wrong I'm not always free & easy & happy,5 kids,a husband,mortgage ect could turn the Dali Lama into a foul mouthed,pysco axe murderer but there is joy in everyday somewhere, sometimes you just have look really,really hard!
I personally think we are all super mums, because we all keep getting up every morning rain,hail or shine to do our very best for our people & ourselves,this is important, just because you are a parent, does not mean you are not a stand alone person who has wants & needs & dreams that don't involve anyone you live with! You are & you should, because enjoying things away from your family,help to make you a more interesting,rounded person & that can never be a bad thing right?
Are you a super mum?
What do you think makes a supermum?
Do you care too much about what other people think?

 


Comments

Louise
05/23/2012 19:44

Yes , I'm a super mum, as are u. We are there for our kids at all times , I can even pour Juice when I'm on the toilet ( cause the kids know how to open the locked toilet door with a butter knife, clever huh!) a gift I'm trying to give to my girls is to NOT care what others think, the only options that matter to me are my immediate family, and my closest friend ( that thinks I'm beige at times) but loves me anyway....
But that doesn't mean I actually listen( maybe that's where the girls get it from).... Housework always something better to do, plus it is the never ending story with out the fluffy oversized animals. Supermum yes I am cause I still here in groundhog day. X x

Reply
Rachi r
05/23/2012 21:44

U say it right everytime! You are a super human super mum you have 5 kids and are still sane lol! Being a single parent of a 2 year old I do find it trying sometimes but then again I've only got one to deal with! I think it's hard in this society these days with all the parenting books out on child's behavior and people giving u all different advice on various things. I myself probably do try to conform on some issues because I don't want people to look at me and tell me I'm a bad parent! I think i need to take a leaf out of your book and try not care as much what other people think! I suppose at the end of the day I love my nut bag toddler more the words can say and that's enough :)

Reply
j9mrox
05/24/2012 15:09

Love you Weeza,you crazy,slightly beige,lunatic that wants to live in kings Langley!! You are a true super mum heaps more than me...xx

Reply
j9mrox
05/24/2012 15:12

Thanks Rach! I'm not always sane!!! You are right as long as you are doing your best & loving him lots you are super!! Babe don't be afraid to ignore the advice,just trust your instincts you know him best...:)

Reply
Rinnie
05/29/2012 20:21

well J9 i think anyone who loves their children, teaches them right from wrong, feeds & clothes them, wipes their tiny little butts & gives them heaps & heaps of cuddles & kisses everyday, is a super mum..& you are a really truely super mum when you are picking poo off your carpet that your 2 yr old has rubbed in or sticking your arm down the toilet pulling out the 3 four wheeler bikes he has stuck down there.. i really dont care what people think when i take my wild child out & he is screaming the joint down or throwing himself on the floor carrying on like i chopped his arm off these people can think what they like... we all have different opinions on the way life is so there for there is many more ways than just one to raise your children.. as long as we are happy in our own lives then thats all that should matter..

Reply



Leave a Reply