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Hey all,Today I want to ask the question,"so who makes the rules for whats considered normal? Are we really as tolerant & accepting as we think?"
Being a part of the were all madd here crew makes gaging what is considered normal & what we consider normal a very blurry line indeed.I'm talking both big & small stuff lets explore a few case scenarios shall we:

* we are a blended family by definition but we are not,what we are is a family fullstop I hate the whole labelling thing.I get that it can be a little hard for people to grasp the whole but she's 10 years older than him with 2 kids from a previous relationship & now they are married with 3 more kids with weird names.10 years down the track this is a non issue for us,we are just a family doing our family thing with all the highs & lows associated, thats totally normal is'nt it?

*my 3 youngest kids have unusual names,Bam,Spy & Nyx now people get a grip here, unusual names are not a new thing because really unless you have a biblical name at one stage in the timeline your name would have been considered unusual,I have always said if my children have issues with their names as they get older they can change it to whatever they wish, no biggie.Unfortunately people cannot help but express themselves in regard to what you call your children, as if it has anything to do with them anyways? Hey reality check,people used to call their kids Fanny & Dick back in the day. I'm just glad I wasn't named after my genitalia if you know what I mean?

*My younger 2 boys have lovely blond curly hair,that I don't cut much hence it's long,well fuck me dead if this isn't an issue for a lot of people,especially a lot of middle aged people who lived through the 60's (fucking flower power people) & more than likely had very long hair that their parents hated (did the drugs fuck your memories that much?). The really old people who say things like "what lovely girls you have" don't bother me at all they probably have eyesight issues & can't see very well anyways, it's people that have grown up without the expectation of a short back & sides that really piss me off...example: I have a relative that just about every time we see them, has to make the comment "I can't wait to see the boys with their first proper big boy hair cuts", why?, will it make difference to their spirit,personality? I do the old smile & say nothing all the while thinking to myself "fuck off,It's comments like yours that make hope they never want to cut their hair & one day wrap their lovely locks around your throat & choke you with it" (anger issues much?).
The worst thing is Bam got off the bus last week walked in & said to me "mum, I have to get my hair cut" when I asked him why he replied with "the kids on the bus told me i should have a hair cut" to say I was upset & angry& sad & all that are an understatement,it's 2012 peeps,have we learn't nothing about individuality in the last 50 years including teaching your children that not everybody looks the same & thats O.K too? I let him know that if that was what he really wanted,no problem he could cut his hair but I also gently reminded him that lots of boys have or have had long hair including his daddy & his poppy & that he did not have to fit into anyones idea of what he should look like,that if he was happy with how he looked that was all that mattered.Seems peer group pressure starts very early indeed but I am happy to report he still has his gorgeous locks,it takes strength to be who you are even at 6!

*A similar issue we are confronting is with the way the kids choose to dress,now my mr Spy guy is an individual dresser through & through. His favourite colour is orange & around the house his favourite thing to wear is simply underpants,nothing more nothing less. This makes for interesting trips to the bus stop to  wave Bam off of a morning (the bus stop is across the road). I'm  sure it must be quite a sight to see this little man child with a semi afro of with blond curls,standing out the front of the house in his undies (sometimes with a little something stashed down the front,giving him a hefty "package") with not a care in the world for what anyone else would think of him,waving his big brother off,but this morning I noticed some of the kids on the bus pointing & laughing. He didn't notice but my heart broke a little for him know that, soon enough he may have to tone down his individual flair,just so as to appease other children his age & not become a target for their cruelty. I don't want him to feel like he has to change or tone down his personality to be accepted or liked,that being who he is,is all that matters.I'm not saying I think he should be allowed to wear his undies everywhere we go,just that i worry for the innocence he will lose as his awareness of other people & their reactions increases.
I suppose what I'm really worrying & wondering about "is there a certain moulding & tweeking of our personalities that we just have to do,to be members of society?" Is it possible to be accepted by a wider community or should feeling ridiculed & different be par for the course if you choose to be a "little out there"?, "Are any of us really as tolerant as we like to think we are?" & lastly "whats normal anyway?".....
As for my use of profanity.I'm pretty sure it's very above normal but sometimes it feels so good to verbalise that, geez i wanna punch someone in the face feeling,loudly & dramatically! or is that just me?......
 Don't forget we're all madd here :)

Carly J
03/28/2012 18:55

I have found this blog your best yet. Great writting firstly. Secondly loved the topic.. Just wana read more. Who's normal..Even the normal arnt .. behind close doors.( you know who you are) Everyone gets there freak on someway or another. Wyatt told me he was aloud to like the color pink the very first week of school, cause its a girl color! Some father instilled that into his child young was my first thought.You know you meight be GAY if you like the color pink.. Oh humans! Who gets them? not me. I dont even like most of them, alot of the time hahaha. Keep blogging!!

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carly j
03/28/2012 18:56

was'nt aloud to like*

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j9
03/28/2012 22:37

thanks miss Carly, It was one of those topics that I could go on & on about,Yep as Jim Morrison from the Doors sung "people are strange" I refuse to play by the "normal" rules,I will encourage my children to be whomever it is that makes them happy because ultimately lifes to short to be anything else!

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Lee-Anne
03/28/2012 20:17

Well said J9, you should write for the paper,you have such away with words. I must say it does stink that people are so judgemental of kids, my Daughter has danced since she was 4 and my Son(since he would attend while his sister danced) took to the stage after watching her practise all year,when finally it was time to rehearse for the end of year concert Jordan danced the whole dance with his big sisters group, so needless to say the next year he joined Dancing and LOVED it, so from the age of 3-4(he is now 7) he loved going every week, which my Husband and myself encouraged,but when FRIENDS of ours heard he was Dancing we were told,he's GAY, or he's going to be a fairy, only girls dance,it SHITS ME that people can be so narrow minded,just like people who say boys cant play with dolls(which my son has suffered as well)but when my Daughter shows signs of being a tom boy thats ok???? People need to wake up to them selves and get over their own insecurities as kids know no different, they are only doing what they enjoy. So u just keep doing what your doing cause your kids are beautiful little people, with their beautiful long blonde curls(just wait till there 18 and all the girls will be chasing them,and that will be concidered ok then, so WHY CANT IT BE OK WHEN THIER 6????) please keep blogging as it gives me a good laugh XXX

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j9
03/28/2012 22:47

Thanks Lee-Anne your far too kind! Please don't ever doubt your decision to let Jordan dance or play with dolls or whatever it is that makes him happy,to hell with what anyone else thinks,let them sit in their judgey prison & judge away,the only ones that are missing out are themselves,the freedom to be who you are adds more joy & colour to your life than any opinion can hold back! I hope to one day see him & Maddison hit the stage together & WOW those negative motherfuckers....:)

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FrizzleMcFlurry
03/28/2012 20:34

Oh J9, Im feeling ya honey. Both Baden and Max had long hair until they were 3. As you said, its hard to stay calm when its your own family members that are making your kids out to be some kind of homosexual heathens just cause their hair is a bit long. And the stare and laughs Max got after announcing he wanted Pink ballons at his party made me want to slap this particular relative in the face with a chair.
I agree, it takes a lot more effort to be a bit different from the norm, but its worth it.I want my kids to grow up knowing that they can be whoever and whatever they want without any fear or repercussions.I got whispered about for some rather ridulous thing during highschool too you know, like knee high socks, and wearing a skirt over pants. I feel like im a pretty tolerant kind of gal ( please feel free to insert any comments to the contrary if you think they are required...lol) and my generall position now is "Just be who you are, everybody else is taken" and " if you dont like me then F**K OFF, I dont care" But i will admit it took me a while to get to that stage.Look at me now, im 32 and have Lalaloopsy dolls in my bedroom and a cabinet full of dollhouses and tiny furry creatures in my living room. I like them, so i dont see why anyone else sholud have a problem with it.
I think that short of packing up the family and moving to some awesome hippy commune out Nimbin way and sending the kids to a Steiner school, you are always going to have issues with what other midstream "beige" people think is "right " and "wrong". I do know however that your kids with their so un-beige names, and uber long hairdo's will grow up to be super cool awesome individuals, just like their mum. xx

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j9
03/28/2012 23:03

We have talked aboit this before I know but I absolutely agree with all you've said! Perhaps thats because I have Transformers & a siderman doll in my room that do not belong to the kids????
Don't even start me on the "beige" thing,I have a blog post coming up on that particular topic very soon!
Let the haters be hatin I say,they only has an effect on who you are if YOU let them!! x

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AuntyCarlz
03/29/2012 03:11

This is why we are friends. We all have felt the pressure to conform to others opinions as a child. Your children are beautiful just the way they are. It's there individuality that makes them special and lets hope the world doesn't crush that. Oh yeah and Im glad Im not called fanny or dick either!

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Abby bartlett
03/29/2012 05:30

Made me actually want to cry thinking about how cruel kids are! Argh! I want to give the boys a big cuddle!

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Emmie
04/01/2012 17:39

Ugggghhhhh! Hate the blended family tag too!

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