The story starts on a very wet Saturday morning as I'm on my way to the local Ag show to help out.Cruising on the highway doing the speed limit,I am suddenly overtaken on a blind hill by an ageing loser in a shitbox old celica,dangerous? Yes! Unnessary? Yes! Frustrating? Why yes! Alas there was nothing I could do or say to that selfish driver that he could hear but I did not let that stop me...as you can imagine!
I approach our bustling main shopping drag (that is on the hwy as well) & see a youngish hipster dude,with a very shiny,healthy looking bob haircut alighting from his car that he has just parked...HALF HANGING OUT ON THE HWY....that is when my brain snapped!
I stopped my car beeped my horn & when he looked at me I made the international hand signs at him for WTF?
He flicked his mane of lucious hair & continued on his way,I shot him eye bullets & proceeded on my errands,into the supermarket I stroll & there he is across the fruit & veg bunk gathering his produce,it was like slow motion,I had no control of myself as I yelled at him "your pathetic!" I knew better than to hang around & headed to the sugar isle to get my goodies.
It was as I was on my knees trying to wrestle two three kilo sugar bags from the bottom shelf when a pair of environmentally friendly slip ons stopped in front of me & a decidedly not so macho voice said to me "do you have a problem with me?"
Uh oh...brain snap number two,lifted me to my feet faster than I have ever travelled before & I word vomited all over his lovely button up hemp shirt!
"I do not have a problem with you but I do have a problem with how you parked your car on the hwy,why would you do that? Why make it harder for other people to drive,it's just selfish" I practically hissed at him,his reply was "I only needed lemons(like I give a fuck!) & if you hit my car,that's your fault!" I then word vomited again with things like "if you can't park in the lines move to the next spot & try again & perhaps you should pop your L plates on so we are aware your just learning,selfish,it's just selfish" I then turned my heel & flounced off the the checkout,where I was pleased to see him eyes to the floor waiting behind me in the line,I made sure to be extra nice to the lass serving me,just to make sure those rumors of my Jekyll & Hyde personality have some basis on truth,got to the show & headed straight to the beer tent...
Have you had a public brain snap lately? Care to share? Of course you do...j9 ;)
Please excuse spelling & structure I'm writing this at school pick up,on my phone :)