Hey people's,I don't really know how todays post is going to turn out so bear with me & lets find out shall we?
I find myself in the unique position of having been both a young mum & an older mum & the one thing I know for sure is that I am parenting much differently the second time around compared to the first time. I don't mean my core parenting ideals have changed all that much,I have raised them all with lots of love & kisses & cuddles & awesome dress sense but as I have grown older I have changed & thus so has my parenting.
I was almost 23 when I had my darling missA17,she was fully planned & I thought I was ready to take motherhood on & I was, apart from the fact missA17 refused to sleep anywhere but on me for the first 6 months of her life but thats a whole other post. It was terrible,difficult,taxing but  IT WAS ALSO THE MOST MAGICAL TIME OF MY LIFE I really & truly fell in love for the first time ever & felt so bloody powerful it was crazy! Mrm16 followed her about 17 months later,now we lived in western Sydney back then & I didn't drive so we bussed & trained it wherever we needed to go,looking back it sucked arse but I knew no other way & being the youngster I was,I just did it because I was so worried about what other people may or may not think of me that I tried extra hard to be the best I could be & I expected that of my children as well.They were always clean, dressed perfectly,well behaved (or look out),quite,tidy jesus just reading this makes me sad for them, poor little robots...
Then when I was 29 my relationship with their father broke down & I found myself....
I became the person that made me happy,I relaxed,I stopped worrying what people thought because I finally realised that regardless of how hard I tried to be what other people wanted,I was just me,I was always going to be this slightly crazy, not quite textbook mother that loved her kids fiercely,infinitely & without expectation. I realised that all people are different,thus what they consider to be acceptable different,that I just needed to follow my gut instincts & use a sensible head & all will be o.k!
Just quietly,it is just as well I learned those lessons before I went on to have the last 3 amigo's because if I had not,I would now be a ward of some crappy psych ward in shitsville because there is no way I could have lived up to my own standards & still had a happy bone in my body.
 I still have standards & rules we live by, but the boring day to day stuff I'm pretty flexible with you know so they may not have a bath everyday & you know what, I wash their hair even less! wearing your p.j's all day is fine & as for housework well fuck that shit I do what I have too nothing more nothing less (well sometimes less,actually a lot of times less) I just don't care that much,I will have a lovely clean sterile home when they all leave(god, I hope they don't leave...) if you come to visit me & you have time to judge me in your head,make yourself useful instead grab a fuckin cloth & start wiping judge judy!
I also do not feel that I have to make sure that we have activities planned for every minute of everyday,sure we do stuff & I do think sport is important for all kids but these super mums, who when you are silly enough to ask what happening,give you the 5min non-stop run down of their kids after school activities bore & shit me at the same time,hey love. get your own life,give your kids some breathing space & relax nobody cares if your child is doing 6 sports,3 instruments & drama classes as well! (you will most often find those women don't use the internet for anything other than e-mail either! poor bitches...)
Don't get me wrong I'm not always free & easy & happy,5 kids,a husband,mortgage ect could turn the Dali Lama into a foul mouthed,pysco axe murderer but there is joy in everyday somewhere, sometimes you just have look really,really hard!
I personally think we are all super mums, because we all keep getting up every morning rain,hail or shine to do our very best for our people & ourselves,this is important, just because you are a parent, does not mean you are not a stand alone person who has wants & needs & dreams that don't involve anyone you live with! You are & you should, because enjoying things away from your family,help to make you a more interesting,rounded person & that can never be a bad thing right?
Are you a super mum?
What do you think makes a supermum?
Do you care too much about what other people think?

Hey all,I know I'm a day late with this huge announcement but you know, it was an exceptionally close race & very hard to decide on a winner but I have done it. The winner of this fabulous prize pack is....
Frizzle Mcflurry with the fabulous present she received being a pair of size 22 cottontails that smelt of stale cigarette smoke! I think that is an excellent gift for a young size 12 lovely...not! Now please do not panic there has been a slight problem with the Milton show prize schedule as Mr Fixit used it to start the fire on the weekend (yep he reads my blog) but am trying my darndest to get my hands on another from my show buddies.
Now for this weeks Crappiest fucking giveaway ever, it's special :
Ben folds five,whatever & ever amen CD (used, I have gone off Ben bigtime)
A hand coloured laminated foot by some child called Iodan...(I have no idea either)
A Murray wiggle card (because he is my favorite & this could be collectable one day cause it's not Anthony,he will be dead & still controlling the wiggles)
A lovely little address book that you will need a magnifying glass to write in,with the words "Always keep what feels good close"
umm yeah whatever, people look at me funny when I do my shopping holding a vodka bottle close?
A Transformers mechanical pencil,now this is a great prize if you don't break it first go....
A soccer ball note pad, that has a few pages missing as the kids keep scribbling in it!
And last but not least a toy Lobster,because I'm sick of picking it up off the floor,it will now be your problem!
So all you have to do to enter this awesome competition, is tell me what is the worst record,CD or i-tunes album you have in your collection,don't be giving me anything lameo I want bad, baby, really bad....Abby just said she's entering cause she knows all the words to the Macarena & even the spanish bits! who knew? I may even try to vlog that for y'all....go!
Don't forget "we're all madd here"...
Let me set the scene,this afternoon I am unsuccessfully trying to rest on the lounge as an infected wisdom tooth has knocked me around,it also happens to be the day that the bloody teachers decide to have a stop work meeting! Fuck!
Amid the varying levels of feralness my six year old approaches me to say "mum I think I've outgrown my parents" hmm now how does one reply to a statement like this? I did a quick mental checklist:

I love farts,giggle at them all the time

I'm up to date with year 1 trends, I know what trash packs,mighty beans & ningago are

We have the same level of swear word control...none!

O.k, so he knows heaps more about nerf guns than me but I colour in way better...

We are both fairly fast to anger especially at each other...calling that evens.

I figured we were pretty on par with other so what exactly did "I've outgrown you" mean?
He had obviously heard someone say it so my mental questions just kept coming,things like is telling someone you've "outgrown" them just a softy,softly way of saying:
"I don't like you anymore"
"I can't be bothered putting up with you"
"I'm just not that into you"
"I don't agree with your job,parenting style,partner,lifestyle whatever"
Or is just a way of saying I'm moving on with my life I'd rather it if you didn't come?

As for me I just looked at my son like he had two heads & told him that was cool & he could start to organize somewhere else to live & I'd start packing his stuff,no biggie.
Suffice to say he didn't organize anywhere else to live (damn) & I'm still slightly confused about what it means to "outgrow" someone...oh & my tooth is killing me & I can't see the dentist untill Monday!! Whaaaaa
What do you think about the term "outgrown" & why the fuck haven't you entered the "The worlds worst give away ever"? Tell me please...;)

No you don't get a lovely bunch of flowers or coconuts...
Hey,hey,welcome to Tuesday give away day! Now as you may or may not be aware of I follow & read quite a few different blogs (which is one of the reasons I'm such a shit housewife,see earlier post for confirmation) but one of the things a lot of these blogs have in common is that as they grow in popularity they get noticed by PR companies who give them products to trial & test & blog about,they also give them extras to give away as prizes to their readers.Well my friends & I can call you that because I physically know every single one of my less than 20 readers,I have a massive announcement to make...drum roll please!I'm hosting a super special give away just for you guys...yes really!!!
Now hang on a second before you all start bitching about why the PR company would would pick my little blog to sponsor relax,they didn't! I haven't been approached by anyone apart from the kids wanting food & mr fixit wanting sex for ages! I'm taking the bull by the horns & sponsoring my own give away to be called...The worst fucking give away ever! (catchy huh!).
Now if you are lucky enough to win this rockin prize pack it includes:-

A trap-ease traditional rat trap!

Not one but two I-phone 3 plastic covers in pink & white..

A packet of 8 big W Xmas gift tags in the shape of a cute reindeer!

A bottle of Susan Lucci Youthful essence facial mist & toner (which expired in march 2010)
& last but not least the 2012 annual Milton show prize schedule (the shows been & gone)
I know! Who wouldn't want to win this totally awesome & exciting prize pack?
To enter just leave a comment below in the comments section regarding the worst prize or present you have ever been given,I will decide the winner & my decision will be final cause I'm the boss of this space,yeah baby! I will announce the winner next Tuesday & if all goes well this may become a regular thing untill I can't find anymore crappy things to give away! Please join in the fun & share your shittiest prize or gift ever...go!

Awesome isn't it? Make sure you enter for your chance to win!!
Don't forget we're all madd here...just some more than others! ;)
It's freezing cold & he still refuses to wear clothes...
Hey guys,well today I'm going to talk a little about real life v's not so real life in regards to my household.Its kinda going to be a pictorial blog today but I will say this...my house does not always look like this,sometimes it looks heaps worse! I know!!! Wtf...
I'm so sick of seeing photos of people's serene sleeping spaces! Real world beds look something like this...maybe?
My lounge,if you sit very,very carefully none of those washing piles should collapse & fall on you...maybe.
My stupid little real life kitchen...always looks like this,there are always dishes to wash & put away...fuck!
My laundry is the same as my kitchen never ever am I finished in there...
Of course there are Lego men in my sink...where else would you put them??? Did I mention we are all fucking euro here & the laundry is in the bathroom? Yes it sucks,thanks for asking!
The children's room kinda looks better than usual & yes they are my boys being totally feral for a change...why I ask? Why?
What do you mean you don't have bits of music paraphernalia strewn all through your house? Love that mr fixit is a talented musician,hate all the shit he needs to make the music...I'm a bitch right?
The idea with cute baskets was to hide the crap build up on the kitchen bench...fail!
Last but not least my super clean organized fridge...no I do not use crisper drawers I never want to touch a liquidfied cucumber ever again thank you very much!
To wrap it up please understand I would love to live in a house that looks like a magazine spread but really I am far to lazy,have too many children & spend way to much time on the Internet for that to ever happen,so I'm keeping it real & letting you all in on my big secret...I'm a pretty shit housewife & I'm o.k with that! Oh did I mention that I don't own an iron,nuff said!
Got any housewifey fails you wanna share?? Go on please...I'm not the only one am I? Am I ??