Now some of you will have already heard me express my concerns about this particular issue as it's something that I feel quite strongly about on a few levels & having teenagers has only brought it to the forefront.
I'll be the first to admit that I don't have a great deal of experience with porn,yes I watched "Debbie does Dallas" as a teen in the 80's on vhs at a party & flicked through a friends dads "Ribald" mags (holy crap),I even spent a lot of time reading penthouse articles at another friends who was by his own admission a pornaholic but to me it was always kinda seedy & dirty with the faint air of desperation.
Anyways as part of my research for this post I had a quick look on my phone free porn...geez! Well lets just say that there is plenty available & it is certainly free & it's totally what I would class as hardcore.
It seems to be that normal vaginal penetration is not enough anymore it's all about group sex,anal & degradation of the woman by verbal & physical means. The more I think about the sort of things I saw & they were just the tip of the iceberg,the more it freaks me out that young boys are growing up on a diet of this stuff well before they have any real experience of sex with a girl & how does this alter their expectations of what real sex will be like?
How much more pressure does this put on young girls to live up to their boyfriends expectations? There was nothing romantic about what I saw.
Will this constant flow of hardcore desenstize our boys to "normal sex"? Will they keep pushing for more from the girls they are with & we all know there's always a girl who will do whats asked,regardless of if it's what she wants or not.
The stuff I saw showed a complete disregard for STD prevention (dude if it's been in your bum don't ever put it anywhwere else untill you've had a shower ewww)
Really, the point I think I'm trying to make with this post is our kids have 24hr a day access to this stuff nowadays & if you think for one minute that they are not watching this stuff you are only fooling yourself,primary school age kids can get to this stuff & will given half a chance,it's about teaching them about whats real life, whats fantasy & how to not blur the lines too much.
So how do we communicate all these things not only to our boys but our girls as well?
I don't know? I have spoken to mr16 a lot about this,I like to bring it up in the car,he's trapped so he has to listen but we don't have to look eye to eye so it's a bit easier & I was pretty straight up,I just said "I want you to know that most girls you have sex with will not want you to cum all over their face & they won't be comfortable with anal sex at least not in the first stages of a relationship maybe not ever & that he needed to respect that,girls in porno's get paid to do that stuff IT'S NOT REAL LIFE!"
I really don't know what the answers are but I do know that we as parents have to really bite the bullet & confront & discuss this with our kids regardless of how hard or embarrassing it may be,we need to help them understand that life ain't always what it seems in the movies & nor do we want it to be...at least I don't want my daughters thinking thats what they have to do/be to keep a boy interested! being a teenager sure aint getting any easier....
What are your thoughts on this issue?