It's easier to become than you think...
After moving to "the house that love bought" which involves 7 people & recently 2 cats,I have decided that I am not one of those lovely housewives from the fifties, who looks as though she enjoys every minute of shining that sink & scrubbing that dunny (I also think there is a reason Valium was routinely givin to these women in particular).I am in fact potentially heading into trailer park trash territory.
It creeps up on you,slowly but surely, the clutter accumulates,if you do not assign a place for everything as soon as it enters the house it will haunt you for months as floor,bench,bed litter,I have baskets full of I'll deal with that later stuff...
The backyard becomes the graveyard of toys that no one cares about anymore & if it has a fire drum &your grass does not grow well & it's kind of muddy all the better for aesthetics.
My car in particular makes my cheeks burn with embarrassed shame,it is a write off, always messy with stuff nobody wants to bring inside & try to find a spot for.jackets,shoes,junk mail,rubbish,drink bottles& food scraps, although looking at that list makes me feel that if we ever broke down in the desert, our chances of survival are quite high according to Bear Grylls!
Having five children a automatically makes you semi trailer park & the fact those 5 children make it hard to shower as regularly & thoughly as you would like means you often have slightly greasy hair.
A once groovy dresser can now be found wearing strech jersey & trackpants because of their easy care labels & the cost of clothing five kids.
If you swear, I dare you not to with five kids.Your backyard is probably not the place for you can be assured that will be when the local dog walkers will walk past your house & think to themselves "trailer park",worse if you child swears back.

So what's the answer to this? Well either I pull my finger out go to the Dr get a script for Valium & see if that makes any difference to my house working skills or I dye my hair blond,find a husband named Earl & change my name to Joy...
What do you think?


07/25/2012 18:33

Hmmmm lol, living the I am :/ Although with 5 out of six being teenagers, the washing is never fucking ending!! I could not give one fuck if they smell a little cheezy, I just want a break! Thank God we are past toys! Electronics cost a shitload more though. I find copious amounts of vino assist in the day to day running of the house, give the valium a miss. Is Bex still available anywheres?? I read your blog and see my home...oh and swearing becomes an affectionate thing, even with the kids. "You love the dick" is my boys favourite at the each other :/
I am just now considering going back to being a housewife. EVERY time I am at work, there is a call from the High School or a sick child or some shit to sort out. I think I would like to be on top of stuff at home but also fear not working cos that is where it is hardest for 'them' to touch me although it seems recently that the High School has me on speed dial

07/25/2012 18:49

Emmie,I hear you loud & clear! I often day dream about working during the day & not at night but realistically who wants to be the employee that is always feeling bad for having time off because the kids come first & the washing is soul destroying, if your lucky like me your bathroom is euro style, meaning your washing machine is jammed in there behind the door so everytime you walk in there its staring at you,the pile has grown & it's invisible to anyone else living there but you...I'm seriously thinking a cave with great wifi might be the way to go,the floors already dirt, my kids are semi feral animals & I'm sure mr fixit dreams of hitting me over the head with his club & dragging me off by the hair especially when I start whining about the washing...;)

07/26/2012 00:00

Maybe im not allowed to post in this topic because I think you might refer to me as a wanna be 50s sometime wish it was sthe 50's with a specific day for washing all the clothes, beating the rugs on the fence, baking from scratch, and sewing.

I love things organised. Yes, I do have my coffee cups arranged in size and style order in the cupboard, I will secretly unpack and restack the dishwasher after my husband has already done it ( 'cause my way is the best), and I absolutely always have heart palpatations about leaving the house if the beds are not made.Today i spent my joyus childfree day detailing the kitchen. I told you - im sick.
However, I do bitch constantly about the mess Batman and his sidekicks make, how its impossible to own anything nice as it will just get destroyed and I too threaten to cover the floor with dirt so all the rest of the shit on there will just blend in. ( note to prospective home renovators - slate floors are awesome for hiding just about anything that gets dropped on them)
I would love to work during the day and then just come home to dinner made and and a clean house, but in reality i would just have to do all the house work when I got home anyway so no advantages there unfortunately.

Chin up j9, One day you will have an immaculate home, ironed clothes to wear and even freshly washed and straightened hair.

And you will be the best looking old woman that the nursing home has ever seen :0)

07/26/2012 01:35

Babe you have always been trailer trash! We even have videos to prove it. Luv you, NO YOU SHUT UP!


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